Introducing “Lotus Love”- a Tibetan-American Cross-Cultural Memoir

In this post I am beginning to publicly share the work I originally started a year and a half ago- a creative thesis in fulfillment of my master’s degree.  I earned a self-designed masters in Liberal Studies with a concentration in Cross-Cultural Studies from Excelsior College.  I chose to pursue my degree from Excelsior because it afforded me the freedom of online study while I worked full-time as a French teacher, ran a business and raised a family.  I also found the Liberal Studies program attractive because it offered the option of a self-design program and a creative thesis in lieu of the traditional research-based style thesis.  I am the kind of person who likes to mix things up and expand upon my diverse interests.  I tend to get bored very easily, so the diversity of this program was right up my alley!  So, when it came time to produce a creative thesis, I chose to start writing a cross-cultural memoir that documents my life in comparison to that of my husband and partner, Tashi Palden, and the outcome of our lives’ intersection.  It is my wish that friends old and new share my writing with me, reading the chapters as I post them, and commenting on them as well.  Your feedback will help me hone my new craft and keep me inspired!  I am using “Lotus Love” as the working title of the book.  The attached artwork was painted and titled “Lotus Love” by Tashi Palden in 2001.  I think that it would make a beautiful cover for the book should it ever be published.  Today’s post includes the book’s prologue and list of contents.  Enjoy!

PROLOGUE

“No English, no English,” was all he was able to say as he quickly closed the orange doors to his chamber.  He had nervously accepted the Cadbury’s Fruit and Nut bar that she had brought from America as a token of friendship for her new monastic neighbors.  After this brief exchange she did not see him emerge from his room for three days.  The other monks were very social and playful, sharing meals of fried egg and roti for breakfast, rice and daal for lunch, and overly spiced and salted tukpa, a Tibetan pulled noodle soup, for dinner, teaching her basic Tibetan phrases and names of objects used at mealtimes.  But her neighbor always took his meals in the privacy of his own room.  His roommate, Dawa, would deliver his food to him calling, “Guru, Guru, Sa ma sa!”

The monastery was in Sarnath, a small village on the outskirts of the ancient city of Varanasi, in northern India.  She had gone there with her Lamas for a six week pilgrimage of the Buddhist tour circuit.  They would stay at the Lamas’ monastery in Sarnath, the site of the Buddha’s first teaching, and then take a trip to Sharavasti, the site of the Buddha’s retreat during the monsoon season.  She had been dreaming of this trip ever since she had first heard about the great country of India in fourth grade social studies.  She had learned about the Buddha, the Taj Mahal and the Buddhist beliefs in reincarnation and karma.  She had written about them in a black and white composition notebook that she still kept in a closet somewhere.  She remembered making a promise to herself that she would someday visit that faraway land of India and visit the majestic Taj Mahal.

She was different from the other young girls who played with their Barbie Dolls and dreamed of visiting Cinderella’s castle in Disneyworld.  She had dreams of riding elephants and magic carpets.  When she was a young girl of seven or eight she remembers curling up in her mother’s arms crying “I want to go home, I want to go home.”  Her mother would rock her and say, “But you are home, sweetie.”  Her words would have some comfort but the little girl had a vague idea that she had somehow been born in the wrong place, the wrong time.  She longed to return home, though she did not know where home was.  She would just push aside these dreams of remote places until she was old enough to realize them.

It was in high school, that the seeds of these dreams were planted.  She met her Lamas when she was a depressed girl of fifteen.  Her parents had divorced and both remarried.  The displacement of moving out of her childhood home and into her step-father’s house unsettled her.  To add to the discomfort, her step-father happened to double as her headmaster at the affluent Country Day School she attended with tuition waiver through her mother’s post as elementary school teacher.  The stress and expectations of this elite New England suburban town’s society were too much for her.  She wanted so much to be the perfect daughter but something had to give.  She finally cracked that last year of high school and was immediately put on Prozac with the rest of the country’s depressed.

In the month of December she took a short leave from school and stayed with her father and step-mother in Maine.  It was there that she learned about meditation, prayer, and the healing powers of the Dharma.  Her step-mother recognized her sincere interest in the Teachings and brought her to New York City to meet the Lamas.  That is the day her whole life shifted.  Upon this first meeting in an artist loft in the Bowery, she felt a homecoming like none before.  Tears streamed down her face as she felt her soul fall into the comfort of the Mother’s lap.  There was no need to verify, no need to ask, no doubt, no hesitation, there was certainty about her karmic connection with her Teachers.  From that moment on her destiny was to unfold before her.

PART I: Worlds Apart

Chapter 1- Kham: Village Life & Shedra

Chapter 2- Greenwich: Affluence & Opportunity

Chapter 3- Lhasa: Sanskrit & Poetry

Chapter 4- Maine, Vermont & Paris: Dzogchen, College Bohemia, Snowboarding & Raves

Chapter 5- Nepal/India: Escape to Freedom

Chapter 6- North American Tour: The Circus, Injury & Return to the Dharma

PART II: Karmic Crossing

Chapter 7- Sarnath: Their Paths Cross

Chapter 8- Shravasti & Bodhgaya: Holy pilgrimage

Chapter 9- Nepal: Road trip to Katmandu

“Alphabetical Poem about Recent Feelings”

Chapter 10- Delhi: Everything Changes & a New Life Begins

Chapter 11- Majnukatilla: The Paper Chase Begins

Chapter 12- Dharamsala: Blessings from Dalai Lama & Karmampa

Chapter 13- Dehradun: Making the Papers

Chapter 14- Rajpur & Clementown: Saga Dawa Wedding

Chapter 15- Delhi & Agra: The End of the Paper Trail, Homage to Gandhi-Ji, and Honeymoon at The Taj Mahal

Chapter 16- Final Days Together and the Parting of Ways

Chapter 17- Separation Across Continents

Chapter 18- Reunion in Tso Pema

PART III: A Foot in Both Worlds

Chapter 19- Seattle & Brooklyn: Coming to America

Chapter 20- Albany: Growing Roots and a Family

Chapter 21- Chengdu: Final Stop on the Long Journey Home

Chapter 22- Lhasa & Riwoche: Return to Tibet